So tonight, my husband and I went to a party for a former colleague. I knew there was a chance he’d be there. The one in the post about remembering first and lasts.
He was beautiful. So handsome and rugged. Full beard, plaid shirt and jeans. That man knows how to wear jeans.
When he walked in my friend said she saw him see me and that he tried to wave but I was too busy trying to look like I didn’t care he’d arrived. The hubby was chatting with some of the other guys. I spent the next hour awkwardly trying to look like I wasn’t wanting to jump his bones.
So my boys did the customary beer raise and “hey” from across the room. He initiated it… he was the bigger man and acknowledged my husband. As he did he flashed me a smile… that smile still melts me. I’ve seen him twice since April and he still melts me. Sometimes I still wonder how things would be if we’d decided to leave our spouses.We never actually spoke, we didn’t need to, our eyes meeting was enough. We knew our words would betray our feelings, our laughs would convey too much warmth.
I had posted a Fiona Apple song earlier… strangly appropriate given tonight turn of events do forgive me if I take this opportunity to repeat myself.
"No not baby anymore, if I call you I’ll just use your simple name. Only kisses on the cheek from now on and I’m a little while we’ll only have to wave."